Saturday, September 20, 2014

Land of Flakes and Liars

This is going to be a rant.  I traveled to Indianapolis, center of the heartland, for business.  And, I've always heard how nice and genuine and friendly people in the midwest are.  So, in my leisure time I thought perhaps I'd check out the local manscape and perhaps sample some of the corn fed dudes.  Unfortunately, let me share that I have never, ever, anywhere, experienced as many fakes, flakes and liars as I have here the past few days.  Now, I don't want to disparage the midwest as a whole as I've had great times with great men in Chicago who didn't insist on playing ping pong with you for hours, or setting up dates and then when promising to meet at specific times on specific dates only to then refuse to respond to texts for hours after the time you arranged to meet, for you soon after find them on a hook up site within the hour trolling for more guys to string along.  I now have an image of a city of trolls sitting in front of sticky keyboards vigorously stroking.  Trust me, I am not heart broken/I'd have to have an ounce of respect for these creatures to feel that way.  As readers of this blog have read, I regularly get it wet and have great times with great and hot men.  But this place is single in my experience and it's not a function of whether I hit on them --as many of them, instead, hit on me and steadily conveyed a totally insincere  false sense of interest --nor was it time of day as this happened morning, noon, night, weekdays and weekends during this sojourn.  It is just total mendacity unprecedented in my time on this planet.  And it refutes any suggestion that the denizens of this region have any particular lock on kindness:  men in LA, NY, Chicago, Houston, Dallas, Seattle, Austin, New Orleans, Portland, Miami, Denver, and San Francisco are far more honest, far more direct, and far more genuine than these guys.  Perhaps it's because they are so incredibly closeted here that they live in ongoing terror of someone finding out that they like cock.  I recognize how shallow people can be, and it takes little to astonish me, but in my experience the guys here are simply unkind and love to play games.

I do have to confess something; I did hook up:  once.  A guy who was pretty direct and only required the exchange of about 35 emails to set something up and I connected yesterday.  And, when he showed up at my hotel I realized it wasn't a match.  But, he'd come in from about a half hour away and I felt obligated to give it a try.  Yes, it ended up being a charity fuck.  He was actually fairly fit, but you know when it's not right.  I just didn't have the heart to turn him flat down upon his arrival; perhaps I should have from a sexual perspective.  But, when it was over we had a very nice chat and I was glad for that reason that I hadn't sent him packing though the physical part wasn't satisfying.

We met in the lobby and when we got to my room he went into the bathroom to "freshen" up.  When he came out he pulled off his shorts and presented his ass for me to fuck.  Okay, that was a bit sudden.  I usually like an appetizer, a salad, and perhaps some soup before I have the entree.  And, I like my poultry without the feathers.  So I asked him to remove his shirt.  He said "I have alot of tattoos" (it ended up being the understatement of the century.  Then I asked him to remove his hat (!) and he had a tattoo on his forehead (I felt like I was with a mauri in New Zealand or something.)  I don't know why I didn't then say let's just forget it, but I still felt obligated at that point to proceed; the guy was mostly naked with his clothes piled on the floor.  For a broad shouldered, flat stomached  and pretty fit guy with big hands and feet I was surprised to find he had a tiny cock (though I have had that experience before.)  I hate it when a guy keeps his socks on but I was in a "let's get this over with mood" right then.  But I also thought at that point I thought there is no way in hell I would get hard.

Well I let him dive down on my cock, and he went at it with gusto.  If I'd been into him I imagine it would have been a killer blow job.  But I did get from totally flaccid to somewhat enlarged.  He was impressed at that point at how much I'd grown and continued to go at me with gusto, taking breaks to tell me how much he loved cock.  Hoping to get hard enough to do the deed, I pushed him onto to his side and proceeded to suck his,which grew maybe to five inches (I later learned the guy has three children:  go figure.  That certainly challenges assumptions.)  He did have a nice clean man aroma and taste and I licked down his taint to his hole and then pushed him on to his stomach and started to rim him which sent him into orbit.  But, I also felt like a member of the Peace Corps or Christian martyr at that point.  I just wanted to get a distasteful  job done.  My cock wasn't feeling it; there was no way I'd be able to insert it in anything.

Finally I tried making out with him and stroking his cock; he was in ecstasy; it grew from not very pleasant to okay for me.  So, pulling out all the psychological stops I said "please take off your socks." I had an afternoon engagement and the clock was ticking so I then started to give him specific direction to stroke my cock.  He did in a clumsy manner; it got a little better but I had to get increasingly specific "the head"  "stroke the head"  "KEEP stroking the head"  "tickle under the head".  It was getting tedious.  Finally my cock did actually get hard and I quickly pushed him on to his stomach and rapidly pushed into him.  He was cooing and ooing with pleasure; his warmth  and tightness were providing the requisite sensations for me to keep hard.  I started to thrust and then I felt an orgasm come on; now if I am into the guy that never happens (or I can certainly hold off) because I want to wrap my arms around him and enjoy the whole sensation, not just shoot a load.  Well my cock decided for us both that it was time to bring the sorry matter to a close and despite my wanting to give the guy some more thrusts (he'd approached me wanting a long hard fuck) I felt my load spurting into him:  three days built up, in fact.  It was sad and a waste.

I kept thrusting into him but quickly started to grow increasingly soft and he asked if I'd cum.   After I confirmed that I had he rolled out from under me; I asked if I could get him off and he declined, saying it was all about pleasing me.  I felt like a real heel.  Then he got up, grabbed a hand towel to dap his butt and went into the bathroom, murmuring "you really did cum."  He came out and pulled on his socks and shorts, shirt, and hat and running shoes and got ready to bolt.  I patted the bed and said, relax a minute and engaged him in some small talk.

At that point I think his dignity was restored; then he didn't think I just saw him as a cum hole.  He was nice, and appreciated my interest and while we inhabit different planets he was chatty.  I tried not to act at all patronizing but knew in reality I wasn't at all interested, but I hate just using people and I wanted him to leave with his ego unbruised.  But finally I did need to clean up and get ready for a business appointment and walked him to the door, gave him a chaste kiss, and wished him well.

I then thought to myself "you really are an idiot".  Some times you just need to keep your gun in your holster.  I can't wait to fly home.  Indianapolis:  never again.


  1. I'd love for you to come to Salt Flake City sometime, and give us a review. I'm pretty sure we could give Indy a run for their money.

  2. My home town in the South is depressingly similar. It's like no one down there really fucks.